My Stormy Mind

Ermmm~

2007-03-06T03:58:20Z

11.50 a.m

The first earthquake I've ever experienced in my life~

It's not really shaking that bad, but I thought it was due to the medication I took just now. I'm still recovering from the flu...

The whole office was in shock.

I dunno if it's funny, but I feel like laughing somehow. I think it must've been the side-effect of the medicines

Okashii ne~

2007-02-28T13:32:00Z

Well, I'm not sure if anyone knows, but our home has already gotten i-net conn, about 2 weeks ago. We even have wireless, so currently there are 2 pcs at home which can be used. But since I've started working, it has been harder for me to be active online, LOL.... well, as it is, I guessed it's about time i started writing again. So as warming up, dun dun dun:

Last nite, i logged into irc, and find there's a lot of people 'parking themselves' in there, but the place was strangely quiet. Demo ne... something stranger happens after that... If you wanna tknow the full story', rin-chan has posted the 'evidence' at her vox. Well, don't expect anything out of "Supernatural", coz it's not that scary... just to make a point in my rambling, if u wanna read it >_<

Here's a few thing to note:

There wasn't any script 'rehearsed' before-hand.
I only knew rin-chan during the night of the 1st Love So Sweet on MS(I forgot the actual date, to lazy to check*bonks*)
I think most of my fanpals share the same 'brain-wave' with me... Watching the boys 24-7 must've altered something in my mind. I'm not sure if i minded tho...

here's the link to that page : http://arashirin.vox.com/library/post/fangirling-in-irc.html

thanx to rin-chan for making that entry public!

Now, I wonder if u guys can actually count how many times that rin-chan and I have typed the same thing, and what are they? Lina was sitting beside me when I was chatting that nite, and she was so shocked, she kept pointing, hey~ rin-chan wrote the same thing~ and went rolling on the floor... we laughed till tears 'spurts' out of our eyes... It was amusing...
By the way, if anyone's wondering, both of our 'prediction' was wrong(mitto is the nick I called dun-chan dearie). The next person who came in was 'divid-chan', LOL

Okay... that's all for now, btw, if anyone of you have vox... do add me! I have yet entered anything whatsoever in there, but i'm considering it~ I'm using the same userid in LJ too...

I missed you guys~ *hugs minna*

GONG XI FA CAI!!!

2007-02-26T06:24:25Z

Yatta, I just received my first(prolly the only >_<) ang pow(red packet money) a few minutes ago... Read somewhere that I'm gonna receive unexpected cash today... I was broke! Cudn't believe till it happened~

Arigatou Mr Dennis!!!

He ain's heavy, he's my brother~

2006-03-19T08:15:48Z

Well, I wrote this 'essay' about 3 weeks ago~ a few days after Happi-kun's birthday (26/2). Some of you have heard about him~ i know, it gets scary. but heck, it's nothing bad abt loving your own brother, as a BROTHER right? Maybe thru this essay, u'll the reasons why i always wanted to include him close to my heart, after my twin sister~

I’m now in my 4^th week after starting my semi-hiatus~ and also being away from my family. A few nights ago, Happi-kun called me for the first time after I left home. He told me that the whole family (except me, of course) is going to celebrate his birthday, which falls on the next day. I nearly forgot about his birthday, to tell you the truth. I’ve been thinking about his birthday since a few months ago, but after I went back to Johor, I forgot about a lot of things. I wished him, and went on with my life.

As I was happily getting on with my life today, I was suddenly struck by ‘lightning’. Happi-kun has turned ‘hatachi’ a few days ago!!!

Why is that revelation so important to me? It was just after getting caught in the ‘storm’, that I started to feel the importance of that ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ event. It is, after all the symbol of maturity (or in my made up Janglish term; ‘otona’ness) for Japanese and that include our 5 boys, right?

There are a lot of times when I think about how cool it is to be related to one of the boys (e.g: being Sho’s sister, or maybe be one of the boys’ cousins). It’s because I want to see how they were, growing up and being with family members. Then I realized that if I want to switch lives with anyone else just to achieve that ‘impossible’ dream, I will have to live my life not knowing Happi-kun, my only youngest brother. I shuddered at that thought. Sure, he’s not a famous celebrity~ but he does have ‘star qualities’ (which are certainly not inherited from me)

And so I decided to dedicate this entry to his ‘existence in my life’, in conjunction to his ‘coming-of-age’. Some might think that it’s weird for a sister to write about her brother like this. If that is so, then why is it natural to write about other guys that have no relation to us? (Here I blame myself on constant spazzing about Arashi in my previous entries and comments on others’ LJs). Haha~ don’t worry, this entry will still have all those Arashi-related references. As if I’m going to ‘ignore’ them for the sake of my brother. Fat chance~ XD

Er Ist Mein Bruder~

25^th February 1986 - I got crowned as ‘big sister’ on this day~ which also means I lose all those special privileges being 7-minutes later than my twin. Shucks, I hated him already~

1986 – 1989 - During the first 3 years, I couldn’t remember most things happening during this time. I was only 4 years ~~younger~~ older than Happi-kun, and so my sisterly instincts weren’t kicking in as it should be. I remembered him as this cute, chubby, wide-eyed Chinese baby. Mom revealed to me much later that I once tried to choke him with small sticks, and then try to ‘piggy-ride’ on his back. Mom couldn’t recall which twin was the culprit, but I’m positively sure it was me. I used to be one of the ‘Kachang’ species, evolving to be a more-behaved (though still a big-mouthed person).

1989 – 1992 - The baby has grown into still cuter munchkin. He’s won so many hearts with his warmth and his generosity with his smiles. I don’t think there’s anybody who’d want to pass the chance to cuddle him. A lot of my parents’ friends said that they wanted to make Happi-kun their future-son-in-law (Haha, he was such a heart-breaker at a very young age, I tell you~). It seemed that nothing could vex him, and he would be contented either in playing with other kids or playing alone quietly. That should be such a good behaviour for kids his age, except the fact he always seemed to disappear under my parents’ nose. He was not afraid of anything, even of the dark. Once the front gate was accidentally left opened, and off he went outside to the pitch black surrounding. On another memorable occasion, Mom and Dad brought him to go shopping in Singapore (without Lina and I =/). There he decided to play ‘hide and seek’. Worried sick, my parents searched high and low for him, till they saw him squatting near one of the shopping carts. I remembered the same happened a few times when we went for night-market outings in Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman. Apparently he was eyeing things that caught his eyes (like some toys or foods) and he stayed at the same spot, hoping that the seller would give the object of admiration to him.

My mom didn’t like letting us out of the house to play with other kids, so most of the time we ended playing with each other in the playroom. Happi-kun wanted to hang out with his twin sisters, but not without a price. We often made him wear our baby clothes (the girly ones) and if he agreed, he would be allowed to play with us. Usually he just went along. My gawd, he looked so cute! (He’s lucky that none of us knew how to snap pictures at that time, or he’ll surely face the same murky future like Toshi – having your baby picture wearing opposite gender’s clothing displayed everywhere on the net, hoho~).

1992 – 1995 - I think I had a love and hate relationship with Happi-kun during this time. From the obedient lil’ mutt, he started to become just like ‘Kachang’ (have I ever told minna that he even used to look like ‘chibi Kachang’?). Sometimes I love to be on his good side, because it was great to ‘use’ him (I don’t know why, but it seemed easy to get things from my parents when Happi-kun was the one requesting them). I guess he began to realize his ‘power’ in the family and started to act like a snobbish, pampered brat toward his sisters. Sometimes I felt like choking him all over again again, but I also started to feel the pleasure of being the big sister. After he bathed, I would choose a nice outfit for him to wear, puffed powders on his face and combed his hair, with the sides parted just like an ‘otaku’. When I go to school, I would buy some sweets with the money that I have, put them into a match box, got it wrapped nicely and then gave it to him. Felt a sense of pride when I observed his delighted face receiving that ‘humble offerings’ from me. But life with him during this period is all roses and thorns, and it seemed as if thorns were what it had a lot to offer.

Sometimes when we get into fights, which were almost daily, I just went ahead and torture him emotionally. I would get extra chummy with Lina-neechan, and pretended to ignore him. Let me reveal this one ‘fact’, I didn’t like being a twin because I thought it denied me the right for to be an individual. So I didn’t like having Lina-neechan around just as much I didn’t like having my brother when I was young. I would mostly ignore her at school, and at home I chose when to play with Lina-neechan or Happi-kun at my own convenience. It seemed like if either one of them got on my good side; he or she will be a happier sibling for the day. I know and admit that I was a sad kid with a sick mind. All I know is that I’m currently working hard to make up for all the nasty stuff I did to them during this phase.

1995 – 1997 - Lina-neechan started showing signs of maturity. She didn’t mind being alone and it didn’t matter anymore whether I would hang around with her. So that was when I realized that I had lost my control over one of my siblings. What did I do about that? I became a full-time friend to Happi-kun. Our family moved from the bustling city of Kuala Lumpur to the rustic, ‘I-never-knew-the-place-existed-before’ Karak Town in Pahang because of my dad’s work. We lived inside the drug rehab centre where my dad administered, and there were no other children to play with at home. Between Happi-kun and I, we became inseparable. We would spend a lot of times together outside, creating adventures for ourselves by going to where our feet (or courage) could take us, sometimes to forbidden places. I remembered that Happi-kun once carried me on a bicycle and we rode down a quite steep road which was connected to the big highway. Not sensing any danger at first, we just went ahead. Right in the middle, I realized that there was no way for us to stop the bicycle ‘safely’. I guessed Happi-kun was aware of that too, so both of us screamed at the top of our lungs and put our feet down to create some sort of friction in hopes that we can try to stop the bicycle from heading straight into the busy highway. There was an open-air restaurant near the highway, where some of the trainees (x-drug addicts who’s on rehab at the centre) worked. I believed that those who were working and eating at the restaurant that time must have heard all the screeching and screaming. The trainees would have known that we were ‘anak tuan’ (the master’s children). What a good way of keeping up our dad’s good name. Did we manage to save ourselves? Fortunately, both of us swerved to the left side of the road before we nearly hit the opening of the highway, but ended up in medium-sized drain (it was so like ‘bee-to’, huh?). Dusted ourselves, we laughed heartily thinking of how insane it was. I looked at my soles (It was my mom’s tai chi shoes, actually) and it was ‘shaved’ clean. There were more other encounters such as this, but I prefer to have minna think that I was still a good kid.

1997 – 1999 - Slowly but surely, I began to ‘mature’ too (did u realized that I took more than 3 years to catch up with my twin? I was a late bloomer, u see~). And so it was no more enticing to play with kid brother in the public. I started to get interested in boybands (from everywhere else besides Japan, of course =P). I became closer to Lina-neechan because we share the same interest, and it’s easier to make a ‘joint account’ with our pocket moneys to buy albums and pop magz. Our room (Happi-kun had a room to himself while ‘the twins has to share’~) was our haven and sanctuary. The room had this unwritten rule, “Non twin siblings keep out!!” I pretty much ignored Happi-kun for these few years. I guessed that he pretty much killed time being more spoiled and playing with the family’s cats. All I cared was, it should be better with him outta my sight. Yeah, blame Backstreet Boys for sending my family’s boy to da back of da street~ I thought about it now, and figured that he must have felt really lonely then, that poor guy.

1999 – 2001 - He went to a boarding school. It wasn’t too far from home, about 20-minute drive to get there every time he requested (more like demanded) us to give him a visit, usually bringing him foods and picking up his dirty clothes for laundry (now, what’s the use of sending him to a boarding school, anyway?). He was so unbearable during this time. Both Lina-neechan and I felt as if he was looking down at us just because he went to a boarding school, making us more detached than ever. I was not that close to Lina-neechan either. During this time, mom pointed out that Lina-neechan and I switched roles, and I became a ‘goody-goody’. Whatever did she mean?

2001 – 2002 - He wanted to transfer to a daily school, after 2 years in the boarding school. There was only so much a guy can tell his family members, but I knew he was experiencing some difficulty at the boarding school and advised my parents to take his request seriously. He started daily school, and became some sort of ‘decoration’ at home. He mostly kept to himself and became extra quiet. It was hard getting him to talk or communicate with us. He would rather hang out with his friends. Then he started getting interested in hip-hop music and break dancing. He listened to Linkin Park and some other groups too, and began to learn English diligently. He used to be the in the last rank in the family when it comes to English, but he caught up with me. I was studying up north during this time for pre-uni studies, so our relationship was kinda stagnant. I pretty much let him on to his own devices, but he made our parents worry all the time. That sucked, because they expected me to be a big sister and give advices to him or whatever.

2002 – 2004 - Our family moved from Pahang to Putrajaya. I finished my pre-uni and was preparing for university. Lina-neechan was already in university and Happi-kun transferred to a school nearby. At first Happi-kun was still in his “leave me alone” mode. I preferred to ignore him most times. Then one day we got into this nasty dispute, and his response left me speechless. I was so angry at him for not respecting me, and declared that I would ‘disown’ him, that he should find another replacement for a sister. I genuinely believed that he was born to annoy me, and my patience was tried to the limit. What he did after that totally opened my eye to see the person he really is beneath that “I’m-so-cool” attitude. He wrote me an apology letter, saying that he deserved to be disowned because of what he did. He also wrote that it was okay if I never wanted to forgive him, but he will still love me as his big sister. I don’t know if any of you felt that it was overly dramatic, but what he wrote was really heartfelt. I read the letter when he was in school, and that time I felt like going to him and hugging him tightly, saying that I forgave him. When he came home from school, I got too embarrassed to acknowledge that I’ve read the letter, and I went on with my ‘silent treatment’. He was understanding and tried to get out of my way the whole day. That night I was watching Ally McBeal alone. It was one of the episodes when Josh Groban made his first appearance. Looking at his geeky face, I didn’t expect him to be much of a singer. I was so immersed in watching it, that I didn’t realize Happi-kun was also watching behind me (the light was dim). Then he moved to the sofa and sat beside me, as he was also absorbed in the story. I pretended I don’t mind him at all, and both of us watched in silence. In the end, when Josh opened his mouth and let out his angelic voice, I nearly swooned. I absent-mindedly turned to look at Happi-kun, and he did the same too; with the same expression I was wearing on my face. Our eyes met, and we made truce. Like nothing bad has ever happened between us, we chatted animatedly about what we have just watched. About how moving the episode was and whether Josh was really a singer. For the first time in so many years or maybe the first time ever, I had a heart-to-heart conversation with Happi-kun as he was accompanying me in the kitchen while I washed dishes afterwards. After that, we discovered so many similarities between us, especially in our choice of music. Up till now, he loves listening Josh Groban~ to me Josh was kinda special, because somehow he ‘patched’ my relationship with Happi-kun. He would usually come up to me if he had any ‘girl problems’. He never had any serious love relationship, but he valued his girl pals at school. From our conversations, I viewed him as a thoughtful and quite matured for someone his age. Come to think of it, he never talks bad about other people. I had never even heard him complained about his teachers, as most of us would be so happy doing. There were times when he would tell me about things which were ‘slightly-less’ than good which happened to him, but he would always add the phrases, “I know I was in some ways responsible for causing it…” or “…but I think I should also blame myself for that”. Nobody else can be held full responsible for anything that made him angry or sad. Or so he thought. I could just cry. I didn’t think that he was popular as a cutie, sport jock, academic top scorer or even a class clown. But I knew he was a good friend, and his friends loved to have him around. He used to be called Mr. Bean when he was younger, but in the new school, the nickname got upgraded to ‘Rowan’. Most referred him as ‘Rowan’, not even knowing his real name, thus jeopardizing his chance to be crowned as the ‘Prom King’ even though he was nominated for it. People from other classes went up to him afterwards and told him they were all waiting to vote for him, but the name ‘Rowan’ never showed up. This was no joke; I cracked up like crazy when I heard it.

2004 – Up till now à after getting his SPM result, it was proven that my brother will have to take up a much different path than which Lina-neechan and I went through. He decided to work and got a job as a sales assistant in Watson. Through his job, he brushed his communication and people’s skills. He was friendly and not as clammed as he used to be. He was still especially close to me, and I would often defend him whenever anyone in the family misunderstood any of his actions. Lina-neechan and I started taking up a new interest starting the middle of 2004, and that was of course, anything that concerned Japan. I know I kinda bugged him with all the wakarannai lingos that we used at home, and I thought he was genuinely ignoring us. Then one day he told us that there was a Japanese customer when he was doing his duty as a cashier. He used all the Japanese phrases that he heard from us (I know he couldn’t have gotten it any other way) and made the ‘okyaku-san’ very delighted. I had a shock, because I didn’t realize that he was paying any attention to our Japanese conversations. From then on, I continued ‘bugging’ him without any guilt. The same goes for Arashi fandom. Whenever we got the chance, we would ask him to watch Arashi-related bangumis with us. Though I could not declare that he’s completely Arashi-fied, but when he’s watching them, it seemed like he’s having fun. He also took note from some of our Arashi-spazzes and to our delight; he would make references to them whenever possible. Like whenever he saw anyone who looked like any of the Arashi members where he worked, he would go home and tell us about it. He even considered secretly snapping pictures to show proofs. It never happened, but the thought is all that matters. He changed his job after a while, and he became a salesman in a watch shop. The watches sold here are the genuine kinds which the prices ranging from hundreds to thousands. He got so absorbed with the job that he did his own research about watches and the latest technologies associated with them. His income also ‘boleh tahan’ and he would often buy his sisters treats and gave pocket moneys when we went out. Sometimes we told him that it was kind of embarrassing, but he explained that it was just one of a way for him to say thanks for all those time we gave him money from our allowances. Ah well, as the Malay saying goes~ “Rezeki jangan ditolak, musuh jangan dicari” (Do not decline offerings and don’t find yourself your own enemies). Accepted them I did. Nyaaa~

After constant nagging from mom, he recently resigned in order to find an apparently better future for himself. Dad, who was just retired, set up a company with some of his x-colleagues. He offered Happi-kun to help him out, and pursue tertiary studies at the same time. I thought he would be interested in taking up something technical and engineering-related, but turned out that he’s more interested in journalism. Right now he’s still considering his options, and while he’s at it, he’s been following my dad around (as his assistant I think). I am happy to know that he has so many things going on with his life right now, and I wished him all the best.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days ago he called me up~ and we talked for quite some time. and then when he we hung up, he said "Lov ya~" I nearly forgot abt our 'ritual'. he would say this in a bashful way, as not to make it obvious-sounding. but it warms my heart. I lov ya too, dear Bro~

Facts of Life...

2006-02-23T09:03:19Z

huh?

My First Experience as a Working Individual

2006-02-20T19:10:22Z

Well, just like I've told before (to anyone who'd been reading~) I was offered a position as an English tutor(I believe currently THE ONLY) at a neighbourhood tuition institution. I was happy, since this would be the first time I'm earning sumthing. I don't think I would get much of a pay, but maybe if i can use them to pay for my rents(and the rest, I'll have to depend on PaMa ), i should be glad. I never 'aru-baito'ed before(not like one of my dear friend who's actually slaving so that she can 'destroy' Japan in the near future~), and so I'm hoping that this experience will prepare me when I finally graduated from uni. Yatta!

Last Saturday (February 18th), I woke up early, performed Subuh prayer and then... crawled back to sleep. I was told (by the one handling the tuition centre) that my class will start at 11am. I figured that it's better I didn't try to think so much abt what to do when I get there, and so I slept till 10 am, to kill all my extra-energy. then when I woke up, I drank some coffee (in case u're interested to know, I've been using them as 'laxative'). o-o, wrong move, i end having more energy that my mind sorta went bouncing with all the nervousness I felt. Then I prepared myself, and wait. I don't have a driving license(I wonder if Toshi's got his already?) and so I had to wait for sumone to pick me up. Turned out that I have to wait till nearly 11.30 am(talk abt being late when u wanted to make a good first impression).

When I arrived, I was told that my housemate(who is also one of the tutors at the centre-she had a class before that) filled in for me before I came. She told me that she taught the kids a few words and asked them to make sentences. So okay~ I went in, and there's these 10 cuties staring at me. Urm, I was starting to feel jittery. whatever~

The kids : (standing up) Good Morning, teacher!!!
Me : Good Morning, sit down, all of you. My name's Linda. Any questions?(realized that the responses I got was 'blur sotong' faces, and also timid squeals of "No~"). No? All right then, I want each of you to introduce yourselves, tell us your name and the standard(level) that u're currently in.

As they were introducing themselves, I would repeat their names, so that I could try to remember them. Most of them are quite shy, they end up mumbling their names, I had to ask them to repeat. Sometimes I still couldn't get it, but I gave up[haha!]. There were only 2 boys(one of them is the Kachang type) and another was sorta 'sotong' like Toshi. It turns out that I had a class of kids from different levels since this is just a 'warming-up' session. and I had to remind myself to not let their 'sizes' fool me. The older ones seemed to have a much smaller build(kinda reminds u of Arashi members ne?).

Me : Okay, so what do we have here?(looking at the whiteboard) Just now the teacher who came in here earlier said that she taught u these words and asked you to make up sentences based on these words.(the words are : above, on top, up, below, bottom, down) So did anyone of u done with the sentences? (stares) Did u understand? (more stares, with 'mousy' "No~") Oh well, I guess I have to explain all over again.

So off i go... trying to explain each of the word. I had to quickly plan on how to make them understand, by using all the 'props' around the room. And since I strongly believe that the students will understand better if u let them 'participate', I encouraged them to volunteer giving examples. At first, I didn't get much responses, so I had to ask each of them to answer questions. and when they answered them, I'll clap and give them more encouragements.

Me : (when one students tried to answer but I had to correct her sentence) Great, good try! See, I didn't eat u, did I? At least u would know whether u thought it correct or not. So c'mon now... I want to see more volunteers! (one of the girl put her hand up, only on her shoulder-level, good thing my eyesight is good, despite having to wear glasses...lol)

Then I gave them some work to do, and ask them to show me for the next class. Some of them asked me, "Is it okay, if we do it now?" Wah~ kids nowadays...so diligent. When I was their age, I prefer to ignore all my homework till the last few hours(if u don't believe me, can ask Lina, I'll usually copy the answers from her, the goody-goody who'll finish her homework just after few hours it was given). But i don't have to tell the kids that, neh?

When the class was over, and I told them so, their response was :

The kids : Eh, it's over already? So fast...
Me : Why, u want me to teach you for another hour? hihihi~

I had fun teaching them, and I hope they had the same mutual feeling. Before they exited, some of them came to me, held my hand and kissed it(In Malay, we call this 'salam', and this way of 'salam' is mostly done to show respect for teachers and elders). I felt happy that they respected me enuff to do that.

Then they went out and played with the swing, while waiting for their parents to pick them up. They asked me to join them. I told them that I don't want to do any damage to the 'swing' and cause accidents. and decreasing the number of students attending next time.

So that, my dearies... are my humble 'recollection' of my experience as a tutor. Mind you, that some of the dialogues are edited ones~ I can't speak in full english, since they won't be able to understand me. but at least I kinda used 80% english... and the rest are 'rojaks'(Malaysian salad). I just got the revised schedule for this weekend. I will have 4 sessions, and all of the sessions are for different levels (Primary First Level, Primary Second Level, PMR and SPM). After the first class, I was told that there was several kids who came and asked whether they can join the class(and went home in tears when they were told that the centre didn't provide the class for their level). and so I was asked to teach more than what was requested earlier(UPSR, PMR and SPM). I estimated that I'll be tutoring 15 of them this weekend(summing up all the students for every levels). My housemate wondered whether I'll be able to pull it off, but since I loved teaching, and I loved English... I am very grateful in a way. I'm not sure if I can actually improve their English grades at school, but I'm hoping I can instill interest in English, so that they will continue trying to learn, even when they're not in the class. and most importantly, that they'll be able to have more confidence using English, whether in written or spoken English, esp the latter.

Toshi~ here I come!!!!

The first entry after declaring 'semi-hiatus'~

2006-02-15T04:28:37Z

Told ya, this is just a 'semi-hiatus'... haha~ still, it took more than 2 days since the last time I went online(that's okay, I'm used to this already). Hurm, was just reading one e-mail, sent by my cousin who's in Exeter for her phd. She was using this weird but cute 'chinese+malay' accent(the 'Afdlin Shauki's along' version) all thru her email that she sent to all of her cousin. I guess it has sumthing to do with the recent celebration of Chinese New Year. One phrase caught my eyes, and I wanted to share it with ya , "Internet itu adalah amat keji". (direct trans: "That internet is so 'keji'?" yikes~ I should revise my english translations... basically it means something to be despised of~)

Ah... at my new 'home'... I'm staying over with my two x-coursemates(both are working in our lecturer's company) and a Chinese-Muslim senior who is doing her master. I'm staying outside campus... and my house has no internet connection. So far I'm still surviving, except the fact that I missed all of my online friends(and of course daily doses of Arashi wholesome goodies). I just met my supervisor this morning(the one who's in charge with monitoring my final year project), and I began to have a clearer optimism on how to get my studies done. She's very supportive though strict~ the most important thing is she knew what she expecting from me, and she also realized my own potentials. Thank you so much!!! This afternoon I have a meeting with members of the faculty(dunno who tho) and I had to give reasons for my 'slackingness' in the last semester. Ah well, better now than later. I'm very happy that I got past thru my phase of depressions, whatever happened, I know I have pple supporting me, and most importantly, I believed in myself.

If everything goes well, I will also give English tuitions for PMR and SPM preparation students. Wah, first time I'm earning my own money. I think I'll only be tutoring during weekends, so the pay won't be as much as a good pay, but still... English is my favourite subject, and after watching Gokusen, I feel like I want to at least teach once in my whole lifetime. I don't know how much I'll fare though. I never felt the need to take up English tuitions when i was in school, so I don't have any idea on English tutoring. These students might be even more advanced than me! One more thing, I might 'yap' non-senseically... and get out of topic. yikes... think positive thoughts~

Another thing, I will seriously try to learn Japanese now... at least later I can do something useful abt it... esp for my friends... later I can hog Toshi into properly learning Eigo... or I might just laugh at him~ "what? Super soul~ Talking more must?!!!! it was written by u, no wonder, dear!"<--in Japanese of course~

Wish me luck, minna!!! I think my mind will start functioning properly beginning today...

Just my 2 ringgits~

2006-01-16T11:37:10Z

I guess the Mago megapost will have to wait for a while~ instead I wanna share my thoughts, just my tiny, lil thoughts which is written in longer essays~ This was originally posted in the purple house, but I think I'll x-post it here too, so that i can turn back and read it again one, when i need it one day... This is of course a reminder to me too~

Hie hie minna~

Currently I'm using the notebook since the home pc has gone bonkers...

I've read the post by junko(shanghaigal) in da blue house and once again, my eyes had been opened widely~

My initial reaction? I can't say that I'm completely in shock with what's happening, coz where there's celebrities, there'll be fanatics. Only how deeply insane it gets; differs. But I was pretty disturbed at first, coz it's only natural, after learning how to love and care about these five boys... Frankly, I don't think of them as celebrities or idols at all, actually~ More like someone blood-related, if Happi-kun or Lina was the one harassed, I would feel like this also.

I've been reading comments in the blue house, in the LJs, irc and also here in purple house, and I'm sure most of us felt the same way too. Most of it wre angers and disatisfaction that we felt about the whole matter~ I have to let myself cool down a bit before making any comments, and think carefully about it all...

So after much contemplation, I feel that there's no need for me to curse and start a personal war those pple. There IS something seriously WRONG on the way they openly posted their hatred on web, and if they actually done any of what they confessed and planned to do, it is even worse. I really pity them actually, bcoz they were too much consumed in their own hatred that they could never accept and be satisfied of their own fave artistes, instead firing all of their energy doing sumthing that I'm sure will make them more miserable.

On another perspective, it is 'humanly' possible for anyone 'normal' to end up just like them~ I admit it myself, if not for the fact that my soul was 'saved' by so many prayers,love and care from all my family, friends and close ones(including minna~ ), I might have been living my life pretty much similar to those fans right now. I think maybe because they themselves didn't get the previlige that I'm currently receiving, they getting more and more buried in that hatred... it could've been anyone who may become their target, Arashi just happens to 'pass by'. When you get so deep, sometimes it's hard to get yourself out again, even tho u have to pay a higher price for 'staying' in that deep whole~

So far I've seen a lot of anger and wanting 'to get back at them' from most responses I've read. Again, I admit that I feel the same too, especially in the first few hours after I've read about it. But I'm thinking... what if we, the more rational-thinking, always caring and considerate fans(Just like our favourite Stormy Boys ), do something a wee bit different? Instead of cursing them and venting out anger, let's pray for these pple~ that one day they will open up and see why we have come to love Arashi the way we do now. It might sound a bit sappy, lol~ but I really believe in the power of good thoughts and sincere prayers to one another. I'm sure so many of us have heard about the , "oh, I was ignoring (maybe a bit sick?) the boys at first, but after a while i got caught in the storm" tales. It happened to me before and this might happen to them too one day.

Sometimes we too, as fans have said things that might've hurt others who like what we don't prefer. Between us, we can take it as a joke as we knew each other quite well. But some silent reader might have read our comments somewhere and take it the wrong way, and make some innocent jokes into bitter remarks. when this gets on the wider scale, everyone will be affected too. So I feel that this incident somehow taught me to be careful about how i convey my feelings about my favourite boys. I hope we all can learn something from this, so that less pple will get involved in unnecessary hatred and grudges. What we need to do is SPREAD Arashi's love, not hating pple just because WE LOVE Arashi.

I apologize minna, if my postings seemed well... i dunno~ serious? but it is. there's so many things that happened in the realm of Arashi fandom recently that made us easily hurt, frustrated, offended, sad(any kind of bad feelings can be added after this~ ). I just hope that we remember what it is that made us stick this long to loving them(the members' unique personalities, undetering motivation, down-to-earth attitude~ to me personally it was actually because of my Arashi fanpals, and that means YOU ), and magnify that a bit more than the negative feelings.

Now... let me give u all a BIG HUGZ and GLOMPZ, dearies~ (i really need this now~)

This is REALLY gonna be SHORT~

2006-01-13T05:24:41Z

well, I'm done dloading all the magos... i think i want to watch 'em later...

Then i'll do MEGAPOST!!!

this is the calm before the STORM!!!

--weird, but that's all for now, I guess-- ^_^

I'm hungry~ (*prruuiiittt)...opps

2006-01-12T08:47:29Z

Well, i just thought I should do a posting for today, tho I have no idea on what to ramble actually~

Lina( joyluck_sista82 ), my twin got sick... she told me yesterday that she predicted it WILL happen. I should have just shove down the tamarind juice to her throat yesterday, even tho she'll be kicking at screaming while I'm at it... I always told her, "if you have sore throat, make yr own tamarind juice and drink it"... but she said, "Don't you know how sour the juice is?" Duh~ at least that's one similarity between me and Jun, I love sour stuff... da lessa suga~ da betta...

well, currently dloading my last 2 episodes of mago that I didn't have yet... I'm planning to do a megapost on Mago after i'm done with it... I guess that's a warning from me...lol~

Currently on my dloads queues:

Sho's SP Part 2
Latest G no Arashi
Mago2 eps 6 & 29/30
Fancams vidz(2003-04 Life Is hard Dakara Happy Winter Con)
some random Chinese tv show that supposed to have pple sing Arashi song in it
Ohno's Butai - 2001 ~ Shonentai playzone Shin Seiki Part 1

Credits goes to arwenna(arwennadives), mimit (xanderave ) and Deragoth for providing the links and files to satisfy my greed for Arashi obsessions... and thanx to each and every one of my Arashi fanpals for helping me out all these times... i will gladly glomp ya all in full gratitude whenever I have the chance to... if i have arms long enuff(now that sounds weird~).

Wenna~ in case i forgot to ask you later~ if u have the time, can u reupload those HQ PVs that u had in yr cb? We thought that we have each and every PV of Arashi(we do~ ^^). Lina tried dloading one of the HQ PV the other day... we were so stumped at the clarity! Lina spotted two PVs in which Satoshi wears a ring. Unfortunately, most of the files got wiped out before we get to dl all of it... We've already got "Kansha Kangeki Ame Arashi","Tomadoinagara","A Day In Our Life" and "Hadashi no Mirai"... Seriously, we will have major nosebleed just by watching these HQ PVs... you spot more things u haven't seen before... maybe i'm the only baka who never thought of dloading HQ PVs before...

Now I really want to watch and get Akimahende done... it's such an interesting dorama...but lately Lina and I have been too bz to watch it at nite... nino was cho kakkoii in this dorama, I found myself squealing everytime I saw him on screen~ yarghh... he's a good actor, no doubt about it~ Unfortunately the first dorama I've seen with him in it, "God of Cookery" is kinda... i don't think it shows his true ability in acting...prolly bcoz there were too many main characters in it~ in fact I got a shock a few months after that, after watching Gokusen, that Nino is in fact in the same group as Jun... but now, the more i see him, the better he gets~ I know my sensei( epun) will smile when she reads this...

So I give my shoutouts to those who have been supportive to my LJ baka randomness now:

epun
salah_kira
sagechild
ryoko293
xanderave
lafapoi
arwennadives
joyluck_sista82 (lol, she usually reads my entries while I was typing them in~)

anyone i've missed? comment in this place sometimes, and i'll surely acknowledge yr presence... hehe, if u keep being 'invisible', I still acknowledge you...but I guess that it's 'invisible' too... nyan~

i should get something to eat now...

Public Apology~

2006-01-11T11:22:10Z

Just as I thought... like always, "Hangat-hangat Tahi Ayam"(Direct trans:Hot Hot Chicken Shit~ :P ) the first few days, u'll get megaposts from my journal, then i 'kept quiet' for more than a week!

I guess this is how I am, it's hard for me to keep up with the consistency. As someone under the influence of the firesign(I'm a Leo fyi), i will be motivated at one time, then completely go 'capoot'~ then if there's anything to relight 'my fire'~ there i go again...

I'm planning to make my next entries interesting enough to make up for the whole time i didn't put in any entry. shucks... i'm wishing that I could actually give minna more than just random ramblings(personal encounters with the boys? Fatter chance). but so far, this is only what I can provide ya all... yeap, i don't think I can even do 'dramas'~ blegh...

har har~ so okay... here's what 'u have been missing'(don't u feel like puking now? yeah, vain me, so full of myself already~)

Dad bought me a new keitai and mp3 player. The name of keitai is "Park Sam Soong"(i guess this is the only Korean thing I'll allow myself to have ^_^) and the mp3 player is BLUE in color! I guessed dad completely forgot which twin is which(he never got his choice of color for us wrong before) coz Lina's is red. Since I've already done a few of 'customizations' before knowing it(don't ask me why I didn't check with my twin before~ i can only say that we're both can be very egomaniastic pple when we want to :P), we consoled each other by saying that Sho's color is red and Satoshi's is blue, at least that what Mago Boto showed us~
Monday last week, I went out with Lina and Abby-chan~ Abby wanted to buy a pair of shoes and some other stuffs. Then while we're in KL, I sent an sms to lafapoi . Later we met up, all 4 of us, so that's the first time lafa-chan and Abby-chan met each other. Actually not many of my new-found friends in Arashi fandom has met Abby-chan before, and as I expected, lafa-chan thinks Abby-chan is much more than what meets the eye~lol... She's really the female version of Aiba. Why am I so proud talking about her? Coz she's one of my best buddies~ and we've known each other since we're freshmen in uni.In the first year she was living right next door, in the second, she lives right next block to mine...and in the 3rd we became roomies. Actually it was her who rehooked me to liking Japanese doramas~ by leaving "Orange Days" vcd box on my table. Lina who was bored that time, watched the dorama and made me watch it with her. The rest is history~ I end up liking japan more than her after that. It was about 2 months ago that I baited her with Arashi, and now we're both are so crazy about going to Japan!
Happi-kun wrote his resolution for the New Year. I end up reading it outloud during dinner. Seriously i was touched reading it~ I requested that he open up an LJ account for himself, so I can always see his beautiful mind. Nowadays he's not living with us, so i guess I missed him more. I hope I don't seem like a braggart(which sometimes I am~) but somehow I can see all the Arashi members in Happi-kun. The same modesty and love for family like Satoshi~ he's very strong in holding up his beliefs and principles like Sho~ same spontaneity like Masaki~ dedication in his work and knowing what he wants to do just like Kazunari and a good understanding character like Jun (I think my kid-bro has the same kind of mannerisms like Jun - u wonder why I've been trying to 'match' him up with mimit, wenna?).Sometimes i missed bashing and critisizing my brother like all normal sisters do~ but who can do that to someone who supplies you with your favourite sushis and takoyaki? Even tho he never really eats them. And he never bad-mouthing Arashi~ sometimes it might seemed like he's ignoring me, but after that he came up with strange quips that makes u think,"he actually pays attention?" He likes Nino the best(since Kachang plays piano and guitar, two of happi-kun's fave instruments), and watches Gno and Dno with us. Lately he easily got himself sick, and I do worry about him.
Just came home from my parents' hometown in Pahang and Selangor. In Pahang I watched the video recording of my cousins,aunties and my Opah(grandma on my mom's side) while they were preparing foods for Eidul Adha. One of my boy cousin(who I seriously think looks like Junichi Okada) was cooking rendang while my Opah was observing him, it was really a funny sight, coz my cousin is kinda like a kakkoii 'class-clown'. Happi-kun, Lina and I said that it's just feel like "Mago mago Arashi~".Another reason why I love Arashi, it's because they reminds me of my boy-cousins interactions with Happi-kun. We are a very big family, unfortunately we don't have many boy-cousins coz there seemed to be only one son for each family, including mine. So when they get together, they often attract attentions with their crazy antiques. They also did a lot of baka experiments just like in "A no Arashi". Usually Happi-kun would be injured... even tho he might only be watching from 10 metres afar~

Just another day, maybe?

2005-12-31T11:13:06Z

Well, here I am again!!! thanx minna for stopping by and commenting.

So okay, found out thru #arashi that Jun said in his radioshow that they won't release the ONE con DVD(thanx Junko~). I have done enuff venting out in there, and I've lost all my brain-power to think of anything more. It's just sad that the boys can't have their concert DVD released even if they wanted to. Now, I really don't know any better about how the DVD releasing system works~ but that just sucks. If you want to see more rantings on it, you can visit my dear mimit xanderave . mostly our opinion's the same, only she's got better vocabulary in 'makian' than mine.

Ano, then I chatted for the first time with Celeste(bella_italia). I was so happy indeed! invited her to join the irc, i did, haha~ but I guess the 'room' is always overwhelming for first-timers. >_< Hopefully u'll visit again soon, dearie!!!

I've just dloaded an episode of mago, a countdown CM(arashi 15s) and one ShoBeat recordings(where Satoshi became the guest~). ano, mimit, how come Satoshi became 'kuniang'(trans:graceful?)? Influenced by JUNjun eh? *me gets bonked in the head by mimit.

Dad decides to change my phone again. I requested something special, I wonder if Dad would really fulfill it~ Mah, I don't really mind having a really cheapo keitai, just as long as i can make and receive calls, send and receive sms...I'll be in shiawase mode. I'm not such a high-tech person when it comes to having gadgets. bah! I'm still using the manual camera, dangit!!

All in all, this has been an interesting day, for an ordinary one, that is...

dalinee @ 2005-12-30T11:06:00

2005-12-30T04:05:44Z

i woke up early today, but i remembered waking up very angrily. Why?

it was the cat. she wasn't our cat actually, but we sorta adopted her.mom asked me to serve her breakfast(in a very sweet voice~). i thought I can steal a few more minutes. then that 'sweet voice' begun to rise in decibels... until it just sorta sounded like a crack of thunder(did i tell u that i never can predict the weather in the morning?)

why do i have to do it? Lina was in the same room! yesh, i love our 'adopted' cat... but in the morning, my brain must've stopped functioning. seriously, if Satoshi were to wake me up, he shall be the victim of my wrath too... poro satoshi~ anyway... i gave that cat her breakfast(i just sorta plonked half of the leftover fried fish on her plastic container).

then I saw the sink.Gah!I thought i've done washing last night's batch of dishes.Lina must've finished her chores later than I did(her chore is to bring all the dirty dishes to the sink, if u can call that a chore...haha~).I guess my brain must've started functioning by then. so i washed the dishes, just to cool down my steam.then off to take my bath.

So far, I think this is one of the better days.I was just 'visiting' around in this LJ kingdom... and I found out that niza-chan

epun (she wants me to call her Kazuniza~ hihi) was promoting me in one of her recent entries. That is just too sweet!!! I guess my 'humble' intro while commenting one of her entries actually worked wonders~ I looked desperate, didn't i? *wink wink. thanx to minna who have been adding me. i won't dissapoint u all... will continue 'merepek' just as long as there's audiences.

(ah, my twin is spazzing over Satoshi now~ why am i not surprised? and she's been peeking over behind me to see what i've been typing, "weh kakak, wait till I finished typing my entry lah~")

last nite we watched an episode of TSD ( all those yapping in irc about Ma-chan's bakawaiiness is very fruitful yah, mimit

xanderave) ? i can't remember when i dloaded it tho. about koguma(baby bears). Happi-kun(my bro) was laughing like there's no tomorrow. and he kept wanting us to repeat certain scenes~ especially the one where the naughtiest one fell down from the branch which he was crawling on. Then we had a marathon of miscellaneous arashi clips.

Gomen to everyone at JeM.It's been hell trying to access it, and even if i could get in, i would most prolly couldn't post anything. the pc would sleep at the most unbelievable times(why do i feel like I'm repeating this over and over again?) especially when i try to log in into forums(which explains why I didn't post at the blue house too). so maybe until i'm back in my campus... i would have to be on hiatus for a while. i tried logging into ym last nite too... but i can't. I guess I'm just jinxed, since everyone else in the family seems to be 'immune' of the weirdness this pc caused(except my mom, since she'll never go near to this pc, we'll never know for sure).

Since i couldn't discuss in the blue house or the purple house~ my last resort is the irc. had the best discussions with mimit and wenna yesterday. One of them is if we resembled one of Arashi's members, who would we be? we agreed that mimit is a much better Kachang(since she's even more ebil to JUNjun) and wenna is JUNjun. Good thing I agreed, coz if it were just mimit saying so...we could never be sure if she meant that as a compliment or something else...(jgn marah sayangku mimit~). i told them both that Lina thinks i resembled Sho. Since both mimit and wenna is more interested in the 'heso-blink', they need to do more research before they can confirm.

ok... tell me if i'm making minna bored to death, so i can continue to do this, until u would even be willing to dig yr own grave...haha~ Just kidding!

Mono Yori Taisetsu Na Kotoba~ (i'm all words, u see...)

A link to Satoshi? ^_^

2005-12-29T07:23:49Z

Yo, minna~

I've got something to share with ya~ not exactly big, but I'm still so freakingly excited when I found out!

~WARNING~

this contains lots of Satoshi's love... if u're not even the tiniest bit interested in either him or me, u better just skip it...

when I was in KLCC a few month ago,during Ramadhan~ went to Kinokuniya with Lina to check if we could find anything with "Japanese feel" to it.

so since the place is nearly closing for the day, we sort of skimmed thru the stationary section. Nothing caught my attention until~ i found something *gollumgollum precious. it's not exactly screaming "Japanese feel" to it(tho when I checked later, the thing did came from Japan, duh!). but it does remind me of something *wink wink.

take a look!

http://img504.imageshack.us/my.php?image=myparettosticker28af.jpg

what do u think? i've been collecting stickers(and giving them to random pple) since i was small, but i stopped a few years ago. but seeing the thing just brought out the kid in me once again. If you could've seen me jump! actually i had to begged Lina to pay for it(see how pathetically poor I am?)

ano~ then during the few last weeks... while i was watching the mago2 (1hr30min SP)...i saw something very peculiar. Satoshi was holding it. "Holding what", u wonder?

This~!

http://img322.imageshack.us/my.php?image=ssketchbook7so.jpg

I can't believe it! there's actually a real life version of the sketch book in my sticker. and i have the sticker version... waa~(in shiawase mode)

in case u're not completely sure about the resemblance, i even go out of my way using the photoshop to present to u pple in all its glory~

Tada~

http://img371.imageshack.us/my.php?image=myparettosketchbooks2cp.jpg

hmmm... i may be a bit delusional tho. but just like dear mimit just said...anything that we can relate to Arashi, even the tiniest bit... that is one of the subjects taught in Arashiology~

I rest my case...

???

2005-12-29T03:02:28Z

well, I accidently 'lost' the msg I was typing a few minutes ago. yup, still lurking around~ at this pace, I AM SLOW~

Okay... today I guess i woke up quite early. mom and dad seemed to be very 'nice'? well, sometimes it's hard to predict, like the weather. One morning u wake up and u see the clear sky and bird's chirping, and on other days... thunderstorms~ erm, i might or might mean it literally.

made promise with Lina(my dear twin, in case u didn't know) during breakfast, that I will let her use the pc after noon, if she let me 'waste' my time in front of it now.ate mom's nasi goreng(with cili padi~yummy!!) with niku in soy sauce which i believe is already 3 day's old(reheated several times by yours truly).

I must have the most boring LJ in this whole wide world!! those who are willing to read these entries are indeed the most loyal friends~

Yikes, I have to start commenting on my friends' LJ, so that they know I exist!

Minna~ here I come!!

P/S: I'll be posting again today~ Guess I'm desperate to catch up with Ryoko-chan and Buzzy-chan!

My first entry~

2005-12-28T18:32:07Z

*cocks head and sticks out peace sign like Kachang(Nino) always does~

YEAAAY~

well, minna~ this is yet another bizarre thing that Arashi fandom has trapped me into doing. First it was Photoshop(creating avies and siggies~dang...I'm a computer science student!), then it was bowling(the first time i went, I chose to just sit and read Readers Digest), and so many other things that I couldn't remember now...it's 2.22 a.m~

well, only God knows how well i'm going to keep this blog up and going. Since one of the factors that I entered this realm was bcoz of Arashi, so I guessed most of my entries would revolve around them~ maybe some other things too.

Gah! I wished I could've learned a thing or two from Kachang in the matter of blogging. As if my entries are anything worth to be translated into different languages XD haha~

Ja~ i need to reread bella's(my dear friend) msg and try my best to type the reply... ah, so many pm reply's debts... gomen, to all affected~